Have you ever found yourself dwelling on your hurt feelings?
Have you spent hours thinking about what someone said or did that made you angry or frustrated?
I was doing that this weekend.
I have a wonderful husband. He is caring, thoughtful, loving…except when he’s not.
Last weekend was one of those “not” times. He said or did something that left me feeling frustrated, angry and my feelings were hurt. Not just hurt, but bruised and bleeding! (not literally, of course.)
I spent most of the weekend behaving in a manner to make him understand just how unfair he was treating me. Only thing is, he didn’t get it! The effect was totally lost on him, but it certainly effected me! I was sad, depressed, snippy, irritable – you name it. Not a pleasant atmosphere at all, I’m sorry to say.
I really didn’t even want to go to church. I know that feeling was a direct result of the thoughts and attitudes I was fostering. But, God had other plans. Instead of talking to my hubby, the spirit of our heavenly Father convicted me of my behavior! He showed me how I was focusing on my feelings, and I wasn’t treating my husband with love.
That was hard to hear. I wanted my hubby to recognize that his behavior was hurting me. And I felt justified.
After all, Col 3:19 says,
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
and 1 Peter 3:7 says,
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Have you ever felt this way?
Instead, God showed me where my behavior was wrong.
As 1 Peter 3:8-11 says,
Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For ‘Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it.’
I guarantee you, I wasn’t seeking peace and certainly wasn’t pursuing it!
It’s hard to pray for someone who has hurt you, isn’t it? But holding on to offense and refusing to forgive only hurts the one holding on! My behavior didn’t change my husband. It only hurt me and continued the strife in our home.
If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Romans 12:18
I know there is no better way to let go of hurts and offenses and to get on the path forward to forgiveness than to pray for the one that has hurt me.
Ladies, our chapters to study this last month were Chapters 14-17. We were encouraged to pray for our husband’s integrity, his reputation, his priorities and his relationships. Such important things to cover in prayer!!!
I know it is sometimes hard to pray – our flesh certainly rebels on occasion – but it’s so important for our husbands that we do it anyway. And it’s so important for us that we do it anyway!!
No one has greater love than this: to lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13
❀ Let’s “Lay down our lives” for our husbands.
❀ Let’s lay down our hurt feelings and frustrations.
❀ Let’s let go of the things that have offended us and made us angry.
❀ And let’s forgive and pray for the man that God has put in our life.
❀ Let’s treat our husbands with love and respect, even when – especially when – something they’ve said or done has hurt us.
❀ Let’s not focus on our feelings. Instead, treat him with love – with a gentle and quite spirit (See Eph 4:2 and 1 Peter 3:4).
He will be so much better for it, and so will we!
Remember, a spiteful attitude, harsh words, even the silent treatment, won’t change his behavior. Only God can change him. Refusing to respond in kind and praying instead, doesn’t make us a doormat, it makes us stronger.
Let’s Pray! Pray we will be the wife he needs us to be, that we will love him like God does, that God will help us respect and honor him. And this week, let’s pray for his integrity, his reputation, his priorities and his relationships.
Blessings to you my sisters! See you Saturday!
“Let your requests be made known to God.” Philippians 4:6